Blog, Culture

What Kind Of Stoner Are You?

cartoon stoners passing a joint

All smokers are aware that this is untrue, despite the fact that many people lump all pot heads together.


The Joint Gremlin

a cute little gremlin stoner

Smokers everywhere are aware that this is untrue, despite the fact that many people group all stoners into one category. Stoners come in a variety of forms and have a variety of traits. We enjoy embracing all of them. What kind of a stoner are you?

The spliff gremlin is a person who enters a smoking area in an effort to obtain some “complimentary doobage.” Since it’s impossible to look them in the eyes, it’s easy to identify this type of pot head. All of their attention is being drawn to that area, and they are unable to stop scanning the crowd as they tally their hits and study body language.

Until he can seize the opportunity to grasp the joint at the perfect time!

The Couch Ninja

The couch ninja, is, you guessed it, constantly on the couch. To allow them to spread out comfortably, they are always the first to the couch. In your circle of pot heads, though, the couch ninja is important. They are smooth and can quickly handle the handshake of a drug dealer-without anyone noticing.

two stoned cats on the couch

He understands precisely how to hold the remote so that the censor operates flawlessly. Naturally, he also fast-forwards through commercials at an insane-fold rate before picking up where he left off with amazing accuracy. This comes in useful for everyone who’s into the stoner comedy playing. Whether its dazed and confused, cheech and chong, you can be sure to count on the couch ninja to have all the best stoner movies.

Check out our “indacouch” gang of buds.

The Connoisseur

Elegant smoker. Handsome young bearded man in suit smoking weed.

When he gets it, the connoisseur takes a long, meaningful puff on the joint. After inhaling it, he takes a moment to appreciate the flavours and the changes taking place in his body. He then begins a long speech while holding the joint in his hand:

Oh my goodness, that sativa is beautiful. Have you given a fruity indica some thought?” before possibly rambling on for a while about how expensive marijuana is these days.

Everyone then naturally wants him to stop talking.

The Productive Stoner

productive stoner smoking a joint while working on the computer
weed and work

This smoker is less popular among friends and is frequently an unpleasant exception. He relates tales of work and success from the outside world, annoying the other pot head members in his group.

During your smoking sessions, he talks about insights and makes you feel the want to “do something with my li… oh there’s the joint.”

The Novice

young hippie stoned on marijuana

The newbie in your group is the one who has only recently begun smoking. He needs two hits to reach the same level of idiotic inebriation that you used to experience decades ago.

He still struggles with making phone calls, shaking and being anxious about his voice. He is so high that he can’t even roll a joint, and he presumably spends his time freaking out on the couch while unconscious, hoping for it all to end.

No matter what kind of stoner you are, you are welcome around here at My Grasshopper Weed Dispensary.

Come Check us out- Click here for Location- We would love to see you in person.

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